Posted by: furmanbisher | November 30, 2009

Paging Hercule Poirot

Ah, a mystery starring Tiger Woods. A case for the eminent Belgian detective? We may need Hercule Poirot before the air is cleared in Windermere, FL, the Woods’ residence until Tiger’s new estate is completed in Jupiter.

It’s 2:25 in the morning. The hour for serious slumber, but what do we have here? Tiger Woods exiting his driveway in a Cadillac Escalade. The car strikes a fireplug, then a tree (in a neighbor’s yard) and the rest is fogged over. In fact, nothing is verified yet, the mystery heightened by the fact that more than 12 hours pass before it was reported by the local police. And all of us know that a celebrity such as Woods can hardly develop a cold before it’s a headliner.

Now, first of all, where was Tiger going at 2:25 in the morning? Some kind of emergency? One of the children ill? Couldn’t have been Mrs.Woods. She reported she came out with a 9-iron in hand—in any golf story the club must be identified—and she reports that she used the 9-iron to break a back window in the SUV to help her husband free himself.

Then we read that he “is in and out of consciousness” as he lay on the ground. Much of this was reported, it is said, by Glenn Greenspan, identified as “Woods’ spokesman.” Glenn is a straight arrow, a friend of many years, chief press officer at Augusta National when Tiger hired him to conduct his public relations affairs. Poor Glenn now has a hot potato in his hands.

Rumors will fly. Dissension in the Woods household at this early stage of their marriage? Just on the fringes of Tiger’s 34th birthday? With one of his “silly season” tournaments coming up in California?

Some of us writers have wondered how Tiger might be able to blend being a husband, a father, a demanding professional career, and all the other travails that accompany such an amalgamation. This, however, is somewhat beyond whatever we might have imagined. Stand by for further developments.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: